My Testimony
For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give light of the knowledge of the Glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. II Corinthians 4:6
Beginning this testimony the way most people begin theirs, I grew up all my life in a “Christian” home. I went to a “Christian” school, had “Christian” friends, etc. Suffice it to say I was very “Christianized.” However, as I would later learn this meant nothing in terms of someone’s Salvation. While I had “prayed the prayer” when I was younger, nothing had really changed in my heart.
During my junior year of college, I met this guy named Raymond. He was the leader of a Bible study a friend had dragged me along to. Something was different about him. Everything he said about Jesus and the Gospel seemed so different from what I had heard most of my life. What’s more, he seemed like he had actually been changed by the Gospel. Anyway, this was only the beginning.
One day I went to meet with Raymond to talk about some things I was dealing with personally. During one particular part of the conversation, he said something that, while he wasn’t aware of this at the time, deeply pierced and convicted my heart. He talked about how true Christians not only “pray the prayer” but really love Jesus and lovingly follow Him rather than use His grace as a license to sin. They don’t see him simply as a “ticket to Heaven.” I knew in my heart that I didn’t truly love Jesus and my deepest desire was still for sin.
The conviction set in deeper as I drove home that day, absolutely terrified that I was not saved as I had previously thought and for the first time, getting a revelation of the Holiness and Justice of God and just how righteous God’s condemnation and wrath for me as a sinner would be. I got home and immediately went to my room. All I could do in the terror was fall on my knees and cry out to God, knowing my heart was still corrupt and in love with sin. If He didn’t answer me, I knew He would be doing me no wrong. For hours this continued and nothing changed. I finally knew how sinful my heart was and that I was helpless to change it.
Then, as I was still sitting there under that conviction, all at one moment, I heard God say to my heart, “Your sins are forgiven.” My eyes were opened to the Beauty and Glory of the Cross!!! The peace of God overcame me. I could not help but cry and praise God at the same time! I immediately started calling people, including Raymond, I could not help but share what God had done for me! There is no better way to describe that moment for me than by those incredible words from the hymn “Amazing Grace”:
“How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed.”
Nothing has been the same since and God has continued to transform and renew me every day. May I never forget the Cross!
Romans 5:8
But God shows His love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
